Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Great Moments in Jam History: Shrimp, Shrimp, Shrimp


SAN MATEO, Ca - Throwback Shrimp Jam: In late September 2007, Grape, Half, King, and Brandy went to Red Lobster for All-You-Can-Cram Shrimp. Each member of the crew brought strong game but King was on another level entirely. Downing two extremely large margs in swift succession, King turned his attention to the first basket of cheddar biscuits. The boys plowed through gratuitous greenery in the form of ranch-soaked salades as well in anticipation of the arrival of first plates. Their choices limited, by logic (who wants shrimp with "pasta" when you can just have the shrimp?) and rule (obviously, the folks at Red Lobster corporate would not dare float a boiled endless-plate option with so many keen Jammers ready to pounce on a less greasy alternative), to beer-battered shrimps and scampi shrimps, the boys dug in hard and fast, sparing not even the lackluster accompanying sides. King tried to order 20 more shrimp immediately upon the arrival of his second plate. 30 minutes and close to 230 crustaceans later, the towel was thrown in. No one even approached Spot's early 2002 individual record of 101 but nonetheless, shop was wrecked. Half was wishing he'd slipped some into a doggie bag for later. Grape was faded and sluggish. King was grinning, pumping his fists, and chanting a fine club banger that went a little something like this: "Shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp." Brandy subsequently laughed so hard that he peed a small amount and had to excuse himself from the table so as to lightly towel off in the bathroom. The moral of the story? Shrimp = An Amazing Jam. Another Amazing Jam? Beaches and Bridges, the soon-to-be-released killer brand-new Dame Satan album. On the cover of said sweet new disc? Shrimp.

2 Comments:

At 2:27 PM, Blogger spot said...

Thank you for referencing my 2002 triumph, brandy. now i will commit to posterity the conversation i had with our waitress around my 60th piece of scampi.

"what is the record?"

"one time two big ladies came and sat in that booth for 3 hours and they each ate 90 shrimp"

"i will eat more shrimp than that"

somewhere shy of 90 minutes, i jammed my 100th shrimp.

"waitress," i asked. "please bring me one more shrimp."

"no," she said.

i think i could have eaten more, but i'm glad i didn't.

 
At 4:26 PM, Anonymous halfer said...

shirmp is good.
my dad makes cajun style cocktail shirmp on christmas day.

 

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