DMG Sign Up!!! This Weekend!!!

The Zone welcomes all Jammers to the first of the Dollar Menu Gauntlets, to be held this weekend. Of course we'll start out with the easiest of the DMGs, Burger King. To recap, it's a seven-course feast, and the order in which you Jam your $1 goodies is entirely up to you. But to safely navigate the Gauntlet means you gotta stick all these delights down your gullet: Whopper Jr, four chicken tenders, fries, onion rings, salad, apple pie and soda.

We'll have ribbons (edible ones, similar to Fruit Roll-Ups) for all the brave souls who can do the deed. Plus, the fastest jammer will be invited to curate the next DMG, either Wendy's triple-burger bomb or the Dessert Shitfest that is McDonalds.

Some Jammers are apparently taking DMG #1 more seriously than others. While rifling through King's personals the other night, JamZone found the following document:

"Tactical Guide to the DMG in the BK Theater"

1) Consolidation - Stuff two chicken fingers each into Whopper Jr. and

Apple Pie.

2) Sauce, the Unlikely Ally - Condiments will bloat and clog the internals in the long run. But in the short term, especially when applied to fistfuls of food, they will lube the throat and mouth, as well as some of the deeper internals. This makes the entire operation all that easier. Think at least 20 fries or eight onion rings per bite.

3) Soda Coda - Save it all until the end. Drink it at first and your JAM

chamber will expand with the bubbles. In between items and it's just

an inefficient use of valuable time. At the end it's flatter and you'll

desperately need some liquid to get you out of Sodium Shock, so you'll

drink it much more quickly.

So RSVP in the comments section, and please indicate your preferred time. We're thinking Sunday dinner, around 8:00 or so.